Reading Elin~

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

what's your main aim in life?dunno?
what course do u wanna take?dunno...
which university do u wanna enter?dunno........
what's ur ambition??i said i dunno!!
i feel really frustrated whenever i'm asked these kinda questions.not that i'm being impatient or anything.it's just that i'm feeling so depressed with myself coz i dunno which way should i go.i dont know what i want in life.like i've no dreams,no direction,no nothing..like i'm lost,like there are thousands of roads in front of me and i'm indecisive of which to take.
i've no idea since when i became like this...i'm so miserable right now...i used to have my own dreams,my plans,but as time passes by,my vision blurred.
i don't know?maybe people learn to be practical as they grow up.we just cannot do whatever that we like anymore.whatever things that we lay our hands onto,we've got to think about the consequences,the possible outcome.we cannot do it just becoz we like it anymore...it's the same with choosing courses.do u go for the course which you're interested in?or the one which guarantees you a bright future?
sometimes i wonder,do i really wanna be a successful career woman in the future?a part of my heart say yes,the other part,NO...but a very big part of my heart tells me that i yearn for a peaceful life in which i've no worries at all..i dun wanna be a very successful person,i just wanna lead my life the way i wanted it to be...but thinking this way makes me feel useless...coz i shouldn't be thinking like this,i should work really hard and figure out a way to have great achievements in the near future so that i can repay my parents..yea i know i should,but i don't feel like doing it...it's pure suffering...~>_<~
my thoughts are in such a mess now.i can't think straight.i can't see clearly,i don't know what's ahead of me.i don't know what i want anymore...do you?

Elin~ @ 4:42 PM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

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[Elin~][19][19850617][eileentai@hotmail.com][msn][melaka.malaysia][icq.126867349]

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